


Aloha Shirt

by w0d



Category: Sonic Boom (Cartoon), Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: BEHOLD, Gen, and they were ROOMMATES, can be sonadow, canon is an illusion and also for suckers except for the parts I like, literally the only damn thing we wanted from sonic boom, most of us anyway, oh my god they were roommates, sonic and knux could also be dating here so its whatever you wanna believe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:40:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23183410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/w0d/pseuds/w0d
Summary: Shadow's had enough of caves, he doesn't even know what all that glowing shit on the wall means, anyway.
Relationships: Knuckles the Echidna & Shadow the Hedgehog, Knuckles the Echidna & Sonic the Hedgehog, Shadow the Hedgehog & Sonic the Hedgehog
Comments: 18
Kudos: 94





	1. Chapter 1

"Hello, Sonic."

To Sonic's credit, he didn't immediately go into a defensive position upon seeing someone who has assaulted him more than once on his doorstep.

To his discredit, he immediately went into a defensive position upon seeing someone who has assaulted him more than once wearing an aloha shirt.

"Ok, Shadow, you have three seconds to explain why you're wearing something with a flower on it before I assume you've been brainwashed."

The black hedgehog in front of him tch'd, a sign that at least one of his most basic character traits made it through the mind-cleansing process.

"Fool, the ultimate lifeform cannot be brainwashed, although I will admit I have been recently missled more than I am proud to say. I'm here to deliver a message."

A message? Shadow T. Hedgehog, self-proclaimed Ultimate Lifeform, shows up on his doorstep at 4:00 PM on a Saturday afternoon in a red floral button-down to deliver a message?

"Must be a helluva message."

Shadow inhaled dramatically, theatrics also intact.

"I'm so damn tired, Sonic."

Sonic stood still, opened his mouth to respond, and was promptly silenced by a commanding palm.

"Of everything. I've been brooding for years, moving from cave to cave like a fucking nomad. I don't even know why they have to be caves it's just, like, a visceral urge that compels me to find the nearest cave and hunker down like I'm homeless, which I guess I technically am. Not that I look down upon the unfortunate but just the fact that I could feasibly have a place to live but instead decide to start fires with dry wood inside of damp caves is ludicrous. I'm ranting now,"

Another inhale, not out of anything but pure, unabashed exhaustion. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

" ...my point is that I'm tired of being unnecessarily angry all the time just for the sake of juxtaposing your carefree demeanor, and I'd like to be given directions to a recommended apartment complex or anywhere else that can provide semi-permanent residence."

Sonic stood still as the open palm before him was lowered, allowing him to speak freely.

"Hotel, up that way then take two lefts, can't miss it."

Shadow raised an eyebrow in question.

"And this hotel has living conditions suitable for the ultimate lifeform?"

"Sure it does, 's where I told Knuckles to go when I found out he was homeless."

"I thought the red one lived with you."

"He does, it turned out he didn't have any money so I caved and let him stay with me. Anyway, good luck dude."

"Thanks, I suppose. We'll meet again."

"Yeah, yeah, on your terms, I get it."

The hedgehog walked up the street and out of view, leaving Sonic to his thoughts. Closing the door, he sat down on the couch. Shadow's getting his life together, huh? Good for him.

Two knocks at the door brought Sonic off the couch. Shadow again? No, can't be, he'd just sent him off.

It was Shadow again.

"You mentioned something about money?"

A sigh.

"That I did, is there a problem?"

Shadow worried his lower lip between his fangs before opening his mouth to respond, this time though, it was Shadow's turn to be silenced.

"Shadow, please tell me you have money."

"Fool, I just don't have money at the moment. I've had money in the past, and I WILL have money in the future. I have a day job at the Build-It Yourself furniture store."

"You have a day job at Ike- of course you have a day job at Ik- ok, why the hell don't you have money now?"

"You're aware of the local grocer?"

"'Course."

"Well, every time I go to pay for my items, the cashier asks me if I'd like to donate my money to charity. And me, being the ultimate philanthropist that I am, graciously offer as much money as I can spare."

"...Meaning all of it?!"

"Naturally. It's not like I'm doing anything particularly pressing with it."

On one hand, that's unexpectedly nice of Shadow. On the other...

"Shads, that's the sweetest thing I've ever heard, but you're a special kind of stupid."

The black hedgehog's eye twitched irritably in reaction to the jab.

"I will ignore that comment because you have been genuinely helpful to my efforts thus far. Though I now find myself in a predicament. I have no place to stay and no money to provide one for me, I refuse to return to my previous life of cave hopping, but I don't know what else to do."

Shadow's ears drooped and his stoic expression softened almost imperceptibly. His steely gaze turned to the side and wavered, as if trying to focus on some nonexistent object in the distance.

Oh god. Oh no, oh god, ok, he was really doing this, huh?

"Shads, I- oh god, I can't believe I'm about to say this... Shadow do you want to move in with me and Knuckles? Just until you get back up on your feet, and by that I mean actually start saving your money."

Shadow's dip in composure mended itself immediately, as he raised a quizzical eyebrow once again.

"Sonic, I can assure you that as long as I buy food on a bi-weekly basis, which I must do in order to live, I have no interest in changing my donation habits."

"Sonuva- then we just won't have you go out for groceries then. Hell, Knuckles already isn't allowed within 20 feet of the storefront if it isn't a matter of life or death, what's another roommate I have to run errands for?"

A slow grin crept onto the other hedgehog's face, no doubt in amusement at Sonic's thinly veiled distress.

"Your tone implies passive aggression, but I choose to take your offer to heart because it benefits me."

The hedgehog lightly elbowed past Sonic and made his way inside, surveying the area. He was likely already mapping out what he would change if the opportunity to renovate should ever present itself.

"Thank you for allowing me into your home, you might regret this."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im sorry i just had one line of dialogue stuck in my head for hours i had to write it

"..."

When Knuckles walked into the guest bedroom at 8:00 PM, he didn't wholly expect Shadow The Hedgehog to be lying asleep in Sonic and his shared home, so his silence was understandable.

His yelling, not so much.

"SONIIIC."

The black hedgehog jumped at the noise and sprang out of bed, presumably to assure a fighting stance but ultimately too tired to even stand straight. Sonic rushed into the room not even a few seconds later, toothbrush still in hand.

"What is it- oh."

"Why is Shadow in our guest bedroom?"

"He's your roommate now, has been for almost three days actually."

"Can you two leave, I'm trying to nap here."

Shadow pushed himself up to his elbows, now glaring at the brightly colored individuals that were encroaching on his much-needed rest. Sonic just put his hand on his hip.

"Shadow, just last week you said to me 'the ultimate lifeform doesn't sleep.'"

The increasingly done hedgehog's face took on a crooked grin and a manic stare, red eyes wide and communicating many threats, none of which Sonic took particularly seriously.

"Yes, well, I've recently decided that the ultimate lifeform SHOULD sleep, so if you both would kindly get the fuck out so I could do just that, it'd be most appreciated."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Sorry, Knux."

As Shadow painstakingly wrestled his way back in bed, Sonic patted Knuckles' back comfortingly, as if HE had been the one so rudely awakened.

"It's fine, I'll just take the couch."

Shadow glared at the exchange that was still taking place in his room for some damn reason, not that they could tell, as his face was buried in his pillow.

"I thought you had your own room."

Knuckles grinned brightly at the hedgehog currently drowning in his own bedding and angst.

"Oh, I sleep in this room on Tuesdays."

"Why the fuck would you switch rooms on such an arbitrary reason."

"Hmm, y'know I don't really know."

"UghfinewhateverIdon'tcarejustleavemealone!"

Shadow threw a pillow unceremoniously at the direction of the echidna, not even reaching the doorframe. Regardless, Knuckles closed the door anyway, leaving sleeping beauty to his own devices. Sonic just snickered.

"Yeah, you don't wanna mess with him until he's had his two handfuls of coffee."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who felt like it
> 
> edit: any point between 7 pm and 5 am is "before he's had his two handfuls of coffee"


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> grocery shopping

"Wow, Sonic, have you been feeling ok this past week? Y'know, I don't care what others say, I think you're just the right amount of lean. You don't have to overcompensate like this."

The shopkeep eyed Sonic's take of the inventory with concern, filling the hedgehog with an uncomfortable sense of self-awareness. Was he buying that much food? And what did he mean by "what others say?" Sure, he wasn't made of circles, but that didn't justify a stab at his lanky figure did it?

"I can't even start to talk about how that, as a sentence, makes me want to scream. I've been getting all this food 'cause I got a new roomie."

The fennec's eyes widened and his face broke into his cheerful cashier persona once again.

"Oh! Who's the lucky Mobian?"

Sonic laughed not unawkwardly.

"I'm kind of afraid of intimacy, so just a friend, and we're not even sure he's Mobian. You remember Shadow?"

"Oh yeah! Explains why I haven't seen him in a while. I'm glad he's got you to take care of him now, I kept telling him not to empty his bank account for the cash register charity box but he'd always insist."

"Yeah, he'll do that. Speaking of, here, for the cause."

Sonic got ten rings out of his pocket and dropped them into the donation box with many satisfying clinks.

"Now ten rings, I can take without a guilty conscience. Thanks, Sonic."

"No problem. Well anyway, good to see you.

"Same to you, take care of yourself."

Sonic gave the shopkeep a thumbs up and turned to leave.

"With Knuckles AND Shadow in my house? Likely."

-

"Soup's on, bitches."

Sonic sloppily dropped the bags of groceries on the counter, a few cans and the like falling over in his haste.

Knuckles, who came running the second he heard the door open and was only delayed by falling on his face in the hallway, was the first to arrive out of his two housemates.

"Hell yeah! You got bananas!"

To make a point, he grabbed a banana from one of the bags and held it high, parading it around the living room for several seconds before tearing it open and taking a bite.

"Yup. Figured you could use the protein carbonate or whatever is in those things."

Shadow stepped into the room slowly and meticulously. If Sonic looked closely at his feet he could've sworn he saw ominous, foreboding smoke creep up his form in slender tendrils, though if he looked even closer he could discern from the towels that were wrapped around the hedgehog's quills and body that he'd just come out of the shower, and that the smoke was just steam.

"It's called potassium, you fucking fool. What else did you get?"

Shadow walked over to the counter and started absent-mindedly rummaging through the stash.

"Jeezus, how hot are your showers? There's steam billowing out of the bathroom-"

"Sonic, why did you buy 5 packs of weiners-"

"You know exactly why I bought 5 packs of weiners-"

"You know what, forget I asked, is this supposed to be for me?"

Shadow held up 3 bottles of tabasco sauce, held together by a plastic wrapping, not in disgust but mild interest. Score one for Sonic.

"Oh yeah, they had 'em in bulk and I think I remember you saying that you put hot sauce on literally everything."

"I don't know where you heard that from, I never said that."

Shadow turned the package over in his hands, gave an affirmative nod, and ripped the package apart with his bare hands and claws in an obligatory display of strength. He grabbed a bottle of the stuff and walked back into his room.

"Let me know when you both are ready to make dinner. I know for a fact that I'm a better cook than you, Sonic, so don't even try to get near the stove without me there to hold your damn hand through it."

Knuckles gave Shadow's retreating form a salute.

"Aye aye, Captain."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have like,, 2 more chapters i might upload if things go according to plan


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Young Take  
>  Man the and  
>  breadsticks run  
> I Man  
>  young door  
> said hand  
>  man hook  
>  car

Sonic just happened to be walking by when Shadow set a small case down on the counter and opened it up, shockingly nondescriptly considering the case's content.

"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHY WOULD YOU BRING A GUN INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE?!"

Shadow looked up at Sonic quizzically, as if that was an odd question to ask when someone's brought a gun into your fucking house.

"What? It's always been here, I brought it with me when I first moved in."

"You wha- why are you getting it out right now?!"

"I want to shoot something."

"SomeTHING or someONE?"

"I know you know what I said, Sonic."

Shadow looked back down at his gun, turning it over and putting bullets into it. Sonic would facepalm if he felt safe enough in this situation to avert his gaze from the object in question for even a second.

"Are you licensed?"

"I am, in fact."

"Does Knuckles know?"

"Maybe? I wouldn't know."

"Why wouldn't you know?!"

"Because I don't know what Knuckles knows or doesn't know, you fool. Ask him."

"KNUCKLES DO YOU KNOW SHADOW HAS A GUN?"

From the other side of the house, Knuckles let out a quiet, "ohhh."

"YUP."

"WHY DIDN'T YOU THINK TO LET ME KNOW?!"

"I FORGOT THE WORD FOR GUN UNTIL RIGHT WHEN YOU SAID IT JUST NOW."

"For the love o- what the fuck are you gonna shoot with that thing???"

Shadow turned the safety off.

"There's a mosquito in my room."

Sonic grew more frantic. He loved Shadow, he really did, but his boundaries were being threatened, namely the walls of his home.

"I've seen you kill a mosquito with your hands before, just do it again!"

The edgehog stood up from the couch and looked Sonic in the eye before walking past him and in the direction of the hallway.

"You don't understand, Sonic."

Tears threatened to spill from the edges of both hedgehog's eyes. Shadow knew it had to be like this, but both of them knew it hurt.

"What don't I understand? Enlighten me!"

Shadow stilled in his tracks but didn't turn around. His hands would've been trembling if he wasn't such a badass.

"This one somehow managed to bite me. This time, it's personal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gun

**Author's Note:**

> might continue if i feel like it


End file.
